Tag Archives: Mothers

No Easy Day With Addictions: “A Donut…Really?”

Posted on December 2, 2012 | 2 Comments

By Jennifer Miller

Jennifer Miller SerenityThe term “tough love” is often used when dealing with loved ones who are battling addictions, and it is often “tough” to know when to detach and let them go. My youngest son has been in and out rehabs as a minor and, now, as an adult at 19, reached out to me for help in getting into a recovery program.

“There are no decisions; there is only interaction with what is in front of you. Decisions come because you have attachments, desires, and fears. The only thing that will help you is to let go…”

Michael Singer, from “The Untethered Soul”

Ultimately, letting them go will help them “save themselves”. Fixing and constantly rescuing will only enable. Letting go is the hardest thing a parent can do. But an honest request for help must be listened to. So I got him into a 30-day detox and recovery program and prayed that he would welcome sobriety.

I have learned to expect the unexpected with addicts, and, sure enough, after just a few days, his father arrived with a donut… The man has not been a part of his children’s lives for years, and now suddenly appears AFTER his son goes into recovery and brings him a donut.

Contact Jennifer Miller at yogagoddesslaguna@yahoo.com

Contact Jennifer Miller at yogagoddesslaguna@yahoo.com

I felt anger but knew I had to take the higher road. I used breath control to calm my mind and soothe the wound that reopened in my heart. As I bring food to my son later that week, I thought how humorous it would be to bring a dozen donuts. But healthy granola bars, fruit, nuts, toiletries, clothes and books will have to do.

An addicts journey is ultimately their own, but if burdens loved ones with its ups and downs and…craziness.  I pray that I can remain strong for my family, and hopefully give others the courage to remain hopeful and make the right choices during times of struggle.

Namaste, Jennifer Miller

→ 2 Comments

Posted in Addiction, Child, Detachment, Family, Hope, Knowledge, Life, Mindfulness, Mothers, Quotes, Soul, Wisdom, Women, Yoga

Tagged , , , , , , ,

Bringing The Mind And Heart Together “As One” For Healing To Begin At The Recovery House

Posted on October 24, 2012 | Leave a comment

By Jennifer Miller

Monday morning with the girls at the Recovery House was a time for true reflection. I have observed that there has been much less drama with this group than I have seen at other rehab centers. It has been very satisfying to hear from many that the yoga sessions have provided a calming and positive energy. I have turned it around to teach them of the importance of having the support of their “tribe”, women who truly care about them. In addition, many are mothers and have had their babies and children with them as they heal.

I looked around and didn’t see one of the regulars and asked where she was. There had been an incident and the police were called. My heart went out to her and I told the girls that I had felt her energy change last week. When she first arrived, she had been very low coming into rehab with a heroin addiction.

But I immediately saw a transformation take place as the yoga asanas had given her confidence, allowing for her to start believing in herself. She told me that she would continue yoga when she left.

But then I sensed her her energy shift back to a very low state last week when she asked to practice behind me, not wanting to be seen. I could feel her slipping away when I made attempts to reach inside her soul to bring her back…the drug was calling her.

The girls responded with comments that were very surprising and interesting:

Could I be honest with them and tell them if I felt them slipping?

Of course I would, feeling that honesty is so important to their recovery. Several went on to say that much of what is said in the house has ulterior motives. But with me, they sense and know that I care and feel safe being honest.

I feel in my heart that many in the room will continue practicing yoga and meditation when they leave. I have learned so much during my time with these young women. I felt hatred towards “addictions” based on how it had hurt and ravaged my family.

But if we meet the negative energy of addictions with an open heart, we can transform it into love. I would never have believed it until it happened to me.

Caroline Myss has spoken about addictions and says that it is “the hardest love you will ever experience”.

It’s like loving someone with a sword in their hand, and it is pointed right at you..

You love their heart, but it is their mind that is lost is not connected. The mind

Contact Jennifer Miller at yogagoddesslaguna@yahoo.com

and the heart must be brought together to become “one”. There can be no separation between the two if healing can begin. We have  to learn to speak our truth and honor what is in our hearts.

Namaste, Jennifer Miller

→ Leave a comment

Posted in Asanas, Heart-Based Healing, Hope, Knowledge, Life, Love, Mindfulness, Mothers, Recovery, Self, Soul, Spirituality, Suffering, Wisdom, Women, Yoga

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

The Importance Of “Letting Go” To Allow Others The Freedom To Make Their Own Choices In Life

Posted on July 10, 2012 | Leave a comment

By Jennifer Miller

Life is for many of us a journey that involves ”letting go”, releasing harmful or negative things, desires, thoughts, visions, and people. The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali describe this state of “non-attachment” as follows:

When the mind loses desire even for objects seen or described in a tradition or in scriptures, it acquires a state of utter (vashikara) desirelessness that is called non-attachment (vairagya).

The path to “utter desirelessness” or non-attachment is combined with asana practice to make up the core principles of yoga. But letting go has also been important to me as I have moved through challenging times in my life. Quieting my mind allows me to rise above drama and negative issues during my day, like an impartial witness floating above the scene in a movie.

This is increasingly important as a mother raising children during their teen years. It is only natural to want to teach them about life, to save them from making mistakes or experiencing failures. By practice the art of letting go, I know that they are on their own personal journey and have the freedom to make choices that enhance their life or not. I will not take their “negative” choices personally. It is their life and I cannot expect to control what is clearly their own free will.

Freedom and peace has filled my soul when only a few years ago I agonized and could be paralyzed with pain. And it will remain a process for me, a practice devoted to letting go. By giving others the freedom make their own decisions without judgment or emotion, I have increased my sense of inner peace and freedom as well.

Namaste, Jennifer Miller

→ Leave a comment

Posted in Asanas, Freedom, Life, Mothers, Pain, Reflections, Self, Suffering, Teenagers, Wisdom, Women, Yoga

Tagged , , , , ,

Yoga Brings A Mother Inner Peace And Wisdom As She Experiences “Life’s Revolving Door”

Posted on July 7, 2012 | Leave a comment

By Jennifer Miller

I am looking forward to my yoga practice today…what will it reveal to me when I am in the moment, connecting mind, body and spirit? 

.

I will be putting out the intention of peace. Is it possible to find inner peace when our world is rocked, disrupted daily by distractions and negative energy? I look forward to these special moments where I can achieve a deep connection with my soul.

As a single mom of four independent children, life’s challenges can seem insurmountable. Many mothers experience the revolving door of the teen years as attention is force to shift hour to hour. Maybe this is the spirit’s way.

It has been said that some children can be taught life’s lessons by the parent’s example, while only the world can teach others. I clearly have four independent soul’s who are experiencing the latter. My free spirits are chosing to learn many important lessons through actions and interactions with others.

The irony is that other children and young adults gravitate to me and seek out my wisdom and truth. So, as I move trough my practice this morning, I will experience healing. And as we are all connected, those around me will experience this healing as well. I will offer prayers of gratitude and receive nourishment and strength. Shanti, Shanti, Shanti….Peace, Peace, Peace.

Namaste, Jennifer Miller

→ Leave a comment

Posted in Asanas, Balance, Family, Gratitude, Hope, Knowledge, Life, Mind, Reflections, Self, Soul, Teenagers, Wisdom, Women, Yoga

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Reflections On My Daughter: “Finding Answers All Around Us…Just Blowin In The Wind”

Posted on June 9, 2012 | Leave a comment

By Jennifer Miller

Oh, to be sixteen, now that summer’s here. And so I hop into the passenger’s seat of my daughter’s car to go bathing suit shopping. She is wearing bright pink lipstick and shorts to show off legs that are long and tan. Clearly, she is in the prime of teenhood, with her mood brightened in these final sophomore days of high school.

“If ya dont know by know, doggy-dog is a freak,freak,freak!”

Rapper Snoop Dogg’s latest song blasts out from the speakers as the she starts the car. The lyrics are offensive and crude, but her car is her domain.

“I keep a bad bitch with me seven days of the week, week, week!”

Welcome to a modern mother’s world. I take a deep breath as she glances at me with a huge grin, looking me over to see my reaction. But the windows are down, and our hair is ”blowin in the wind” (a little Peter, Paul and Mary to balance Snoop). I smile with complete acceptance. The teen years are always trying, but they can also be fun.

She has always followed her soul and has now embraced her inner goddess. I am grateful that she doesn’t seem to care what others think. She has been through a lot in her young years, and has the gift of wisdom that only a full life can bring. I haven’t had to make too many demands of my youngest daughter recently, but getting a job this summer is a must.

She knows this and hasn’t commented on her progress. I already know the answer if I asked: “It’s not summer yet”.

The bikini and beachwear selection proves very enticing and she is pleased; so is mom. As we are checking out, she spots the store manager and without hesitating, asks her: “Are you hiring?” The answer is “Yes” and my daughter goes into action mode. With a huge smile, she holds out her hand and introduces herself and takes control of the interview.

The power of confidence is really the power of being in the moment. The woman saw an authentic display of enthusiasm and interest in being “at that store”.  This is my independent free spirit, brimming with inner wisdom, openness, and a natural sense of being balanced and grounded.

I pray she continues to use her natural abilities to find the answers to life’s questions, answers which are always there, all around us, and within our soul when we take the time to go inward and self-reflect. 

With employment application in hand, we are back in her car and her domain. As we head home, the windows down, I imagine how appropriate Bob Dylan’s lyrics would be if we could change just two words:

“How many roads must a WOMAN walk down, before you call HER a WOMAN.

The answer, my friend,
is blowin’ in the wind,
The answer is blowin’ in the wind.”

Namaste, Jennifer Miller

 

→ Leave a comment

Posted in Balance, Daughters, Freedom, Gratitude, Knowledge, Life, Mothers, Reflections, Soul, Teenagers, Wisdom, Women

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

“Learning To Forgive And Move Forward At The Recovery House” By Jennifer Miller

Posted on May 23, 2012 | Leave a comment

The girls at the recovery house were all in a good place today. With several having left in the last week with their babies, I said a silent prayer for mother and child for a safe and loving journey together.

One of the “veteran” girls who never participated in our yoga sessions decided to join in. And it was not long before she was “all in”, and with encouragement I could feel her confidence growing. Pausing halfway through, and with a smile, she wanted to tell me something:

She had to get drug tested three times a week and every time she would have to give urine, she had anxiety. It took her three hours yesterday.

As the other girls were clearly supporting her, I stopped the class to focus on her. After asking a few questions, I discovered that as a young girl in elementary school she had made fun of a teacher while she was using the bathroom. Both she and her girlfriend had laughed at the woman.

Sensing an opportunity, I asked her if we could role-play and re-enact that day years ago. I guided her to reconnect with her feelings that day, and ultimately to the point where she could forgive herself.

And at the right moment, I held my hand over my heart and told her I forgave her.

The young woman instantly felt relief and I could tell that she had shut off emotions from this and other actions in her past.

I had her think of some positive mantras that she could say when she had to be drug tested. She embraced the concept. I told her to focus on being grateful for the beautiful newborn baby that was smiling up at her. And that she was “drug-free” and while learning to navigate life while living clean.

It is a daily struggle for these addict mothers to trust and share. And I am grateful that they have chosen to trust me and open up to the possibility of a new world.

Namaste, Jennifer Miller

→ Leave a comment

Posted in Forgiveness, Gratitude, Hope, Life, Mothers, Recovery, Reflections, Teenagers, Wisdom, Women, Yoga

Tagged , , , , , ,

A Poem For My Mother: “If Only You Knew The Things I Could Say…” By Savannah Robison

Posted on May 13, 2012 | Leave a comment

“I love you with my heart…”

Mom, 

If only you knew the things I could say,
Painting a picture of my love is a task I will slay.
 
I’ll start with the little things, for they happen so much,
A kiss on the cheek, a slap on the butt.
 
You have that special touch whether in food or in love,
But really all I need is something to be proud of.
 
You stand tall regardless of impending hardship,
You have taught me so much, like getting my grip.
 
Your beautiful blue eyes or your abs of steel,
I give you my body, and I get yours, deal?
 
Our fights are often, and we know how to punch,
But what people don’t know is what happens at brunch.
 
I guess all I can say is thank you, Mom;
I love you with my heart, you are the bomb.
 
Savannah Robison

→ Leave a comment

Posted in Child, Family, Gratitude, Love, Mothers, Poems, Praise, Women

Tagged , , , ,

Reflections On Mother’s Day: “Trusting Our Instincts To Be The Best Mother” By Jennifer Miller

Posted on May 13, 2012 | 2 Comments

As a young mother at 25, I remember being so innocent and in love. There were really no thoughts about the future; I lived seemingly “breath to breath”. 

I trusted my instincts to be the best mother and it came naturally to me.

From the moment I placed my firstborn child at my breast, I felt I was born to be a mother. I loved all four bundles of joy with all my heart and soul. And as each grew older, I grew with them, changing moment to moment to accommodate their growing needs.

There is a fine line in nurturing our children: do we allow them to fall and grow from the experience or do we constantly watch over them and step in before mishaps. I chose to let them learn and not be rescued. 

I let them open their wings to fly and become independent freethinkers.

And my children are all very independent freethinkers. I feel such love and pride when I think of our journey together. But I am also thankful of the gift they gave to me: to be their mother. I sometimes wish that all the pain and hardship could have been avoided. But I see the strength of character and courage that only life can place in your soul.

I stand as a proud witness, watching them grow into young adults. They are the fruit of a mother’s labor. Although they cannot completely see or feel it yet, I know one day they will return love to me in kind.

I have learned to honor myself as a mother; when I am in my power and take care of me, my light shines brighter.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Namaste, Jennifer Miller

→ 2 Comments

Posted in Gratitude, Life, Love, Mothers, Praise, Reflections, Wisdom, Women

Tagged , , , , ,

Quotes For Mothers: “Making The Decision To Have A Child – It’s Momentous…”

Posted on May 12, 2012 | Leave a comment

“Making the decision to have a child – it’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body.”

Elizabeth Stone

→ Leave a comment

Posted in Child, Life, Love, Mothers, Praise, Quotes, Wisdom, Women

Tagged , , , , ,